"Jambo," the porters say as they effortlessly make their way up the muddy trials carrying 40 pound loads on their heads. "Dammit," you mumble as you slide like a drunk through the mud carrying a 15-pound pack on your back.

"Hello, mud." "Hello, heat." "Hello, sweat." Hello? What the hell kind of climb is this you think. In all the literature Outward Bound sent to you, or in all the emails about climbing Kilimanjaro, WALK was generally word being used. "You will walk through rain forests and ascend into the could forests..." Walk? How about slide? How about slip? How about WALK being replaced? Sure we hiked, sure we walked, but slide was a more accurate description.

Ah yes, and after we hiked and slid our way up to 10,000 feet, hotspots had been cared for, leaders had emerged, and "Who has wet-nap?" became a extremely common question we finally got into camp, tired but encouraged. The sun had set, the dirt had taken hold, and none of us had yet turned to our tent mate and uttered the words, "Why did I do this again." Sleep tight campers, sleep tight.

Oh sorry, you couldn't. A skirmish amongst some porters kept some people up, altitude kept others awake and if neither of those kept you up, then adrenaline and the need to find a toilet did.